Homeschool to College: The Common App and Respect For Our Youth

             When my daughter was applying for college through the Common App, she ran into a little snag.  On the Common App, it is required that a student submit at least two letters of recommendation.   I forget the exact details, but basically the person writing the recommendation receives an email inviting them to upload their letter of recommendation to the student’s application.  For some reason, Y’s internship supervisor from Ringling Museum wasn’t able to upload to the Common App.  Y wrote to the colleges and explained the problem.  Each one of the colleges agreed that the supervisor could personally email the admissions counselor and attach the letter of recommendation, and they would accept it.  Problem solved, we thought.

                Well, the Common App itself wouldn’t let Y proceed until two letters of recommendation were uploaded.  So, Y emailed the assistance line at Common App and explained the problem and what had been done to remedy the situation.  We were both expecting an email saying something to the effect that they (Common App staff) have turned off that requirement and she may now proceed.  Instead, she received a nasty email telling her to follow the rules. 

                Y was very tempted, as was I, to write an email back to this person. However, Y didn’t want this person to then go in and mess with her application in some way, so she never pursued that one.

                What we did end up doing was having me create a new email account and in place of the letter of recommendation, I uploaded a letter explaining that, as the schools are aware, her internship supervisor could not upload her letter to Common App, and I’m only doing this to unlock the Common App so that Y could finish the application process.    And that worked. 

                Y had a valid problem with the Common App, but instead of really reading what she wrote, the staff member at Common App just assumed that Y didn’t want to follow the rules.  I think that this does speak in many ways as to what we are all up against for those of us who embrace respectful parenting.  In this woman’s mind, the system as it is set up is perfect.  And she clearly felt that she had every right to talk down to my daughter because my daughter was only 17 at that time.    Granted, it was an email, but the wording was very nasty and shocking to us. 

              This nastiness from adults seems to be everywhere.   From school officials (not pertaining to us but I saw it in terms of another kid), to sheriff’s deputies to mental health counselors who are nasty and talk down to their young clients. I’ve got a whole story on that one.  It terrifies me that to them it’s normal to talk down to a young person and to not speak with respect or courtesy.  Unfortunately, the kids who are not being raised in respectful parenting environments will probably grow up to act the same way.